How to Survive Being Home for the Summer
- Sarah Aaron
- Jul 17
- 4 min read
Updated: Jul 30
Navigating Boundaries and Family Dynamics During College Breaks
For some college students, returning home for the summer can be both a relief and a shock. The transition from campus freedom to family routines can feel like a loss of independence, as students transition from making last-minute plans with friends and late-night dining hall runs to respecting curfews and navigating old household dynamics.
However, through setting boundaries and learning a few communication strategies, summer can feel a whole lot less daunting.
Discuss Boundaries
Living at home again often means re-navigating family dynamics. Family members will most likely have questions about your time at college, including topics that may feel uncomfortable, such as relationships or grades. You cannot regulate what they ask. However, you can control how you respond. There are multiple ways you can approach this discussion. For example:
Ask for space and time:
“Thanks for asking! I'm still figuring things out and I need a bit more time before discussing.”
Be honest about feeling overwhelmed:
“There’s a lot on my mind right now, and I really appreciate your concern. For now, I’m trying to stay focused on the present for my own peace of mind.”
Use humor to gently deflect:
“I’ll let you know when I know! Even with a plan, life tends to surprise us. I’m just taking it one step at a time for now.”
Redirect the conversation supportively:
“I really appreciate your interest and know it comes from a good place. It would be really helpful to hear things like, ‘How can we support you in your next steps?’”
Communicate Clearly
Communication through open, respectful conversations is the most important step, especially regarding the following topics:
Chores: Even if you are now an adult, parents may have expectations as you live in their home, and as they themselves grapple with your shift from childhood to adulthood. It may feel restrictive, especially since you most likely did not have to mow the lawn in college. However, it may be helpful to discuss compromises for how you can pitch in.
Ask if you can have a choice on which chores are assigned to you, giving you more autonomy.
For instance, if you dislike doing laundry but do not mind doing dishes, express this preference to your parents.
Finances: Ask your parents about the plan for summer income, spending, and household contributions. It is always good to be on the same page and discuss things before issues arise. It might be uncomfortable at first, but you will be glad you had the talk instead of letting tension build.
Curfews: As you are no longer in high school, it makes sense for curfews to be renegotiated. Discuss plans with your parents, such as texting when you are out late, or what time they are okay with you coming home.
Socializing: It is important to balance between time spent with friends and time with family. Your parents may want to feel more connected with you now that you are home, so it might be helpful to schedule a couple of times a week to spend as a family!
Understand Perspective
The shift from college independence to family life affects everyone in the household.
Acknowledge that your presence changes routines for your parents and siblings as well.
Try to see situations through their eyes. This can help prevent conflict and build mutual understanding.
If you are the first of your siblings to attend college or an only child, remember that your parents are adjusting to the change as well!
Have Compassion for Yourself
Transitions are emotionally taxing. You are adjusting to being back home while likely worrying about internships, future jobs, or even lost social connections.
Check in with yourself regularly. Ask yourself: How am I feeling? What do I need today?
Try not to be critical of yourself. Understand that struggling during this phase is normal, and it does not mean you are behind.
Keep a list of what you can control during this time, such as a daily routine, self-care practices, communication style, and how you respond to stress. Remember to focus on what you DO have right now - it might even be helpful to keep a gratitude journal!
Limit social comparison, especially on social media, and focus on your growth.
Do the things that make you feel like you!
Be Deliberate With Your Day
Often, too much inactivity can dampen your mood and motivation.
Create a loose daily routine with small goals to give your days structure and purpose.
Maintain consistent sleep and wake times to support your body’s rhythm and mental clarity.
Get up, shower, and get dressed, even if you are not going anywhere. Creating this habit can help boost your motivation for the day.
Make time for movement! Remember to walk, stretch, or follow a workout plan. Moving allows our body to process the stress hormone cortisol!
Change of Scenery
Especially since being at home can often feel overwhelming, it may be helpful to get out of the house.
Consider summer jobs or internships that enhance your skills and build your resume.
Revisit areas around your home, such as coffee shops, libraries, or parks, that offer space for reading, working, or simply recharging.
Meet up with old or new friends to maintain social connections.
Try something new: join a knitting class, attend a community event, or volunteer!
Schedule a weekend getaway to visit a friend to remember your independence.
Seek Support if Needed
If you are struggling, reach out for support. You are not alone in feeling off-balance during this in-between stage.
Talk to peers who are also back home. There is a good chance they feel the same.
Therapy practices, such as Beacon Health NYC, offer support and a listening ear if you are feeling overwhelmed. More personalized strategies to navigate the summer and support you through family discussions can be very beneficial during this time.
Spending the summer at home can feel overwhelming, or even claustrophobic at times. However, with effective communication, clear boundaries, and self-compassion, this time can become a meaningful part of your growth journey, as it becomes an opportunity to strengthen your relationships, build resilience, and increase your self-compassion.
References
Family Therapy Program Team. (2023, May 18). Returning Home from College: Tips for Parents
and Students. Brown University Health.
Tips for returning home at break. (2024, January 17). Tippie College of Business | the University
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